10.10.2011

Sexual Body Bullies Harm Children Self-Esteem Part II



Bullying on IRFE in March 5, 2007, the first c...Image via Wikipedia
By Lawrence W. Daly, MSc

A child with character and integrity is the pinnacle of every parent’s hopes and dreams. Then there is the child who can’t help themselves and every time the parent turns around the school is calling, law enforcement is bringing the child home and/or the neighbors are complaining about the child’s behavior. The behavior which is problematic for the child and the parents is the child’s aggressive behavior on other children. The behavior deals specifically with sexual body bullying. Taking away the self-esteem of the child they prey upon.  The problem of sexual body bullying is just being discovered by those in authority. It has always existed, but has been minimized and gone undetected for many reasons.

What makes a child become a bully? Why does he/she behave in such an aggressive manner towards other children? Is the family dynamics a part of the bullies reason that he/she acts out? There are many reasons why children bully and this will be intimately discussed. According to WebMD the characteristics of children who bully are:
·         May witness physical and verbal violence or aggression at home. They have a positive view of this behavior view of this behavior, and they act aggressively toward other people, including adults.
·      May hit or push other children.
·      Are often physically strong.
·      May or may not be popular with other children around their same age.
·      Have trouble following rules.
·      Show little concern for the feelings of others.

The personality of the sexual body bullier is that they have an aggressive attitude toward other children and think very highly of themselves. They do not have a preference of who they target. They are opportunistic individuals who pursue their targets as much as possible in any given situation. They may grab sexual areas of the child victim, they may push the child victim to a position of isolation so they can further their sexual assault. Others may see the sexual assault occurring but generally do not become involved. The bullier has to make a decision how far they should go with the sexual assault. Balancing if the sexual assault should be pursued or stopped the bully has to make the determination if their behavior will become criminal in nature.

Too often the sexual assault will last only for a few minutes and during the beginning of the sexual assault to the end, the bully will not only sexually assault the child victim but verbally threaten him/her so the bully maintains control of the situation during, before and after. They rely on their physical strength and verbal threats to stop the child victim from reporting them to the authorities.

Physical bullying at school, as depicted in th...Image via Wikipedia
The problem with the bully is school seems to have no purpose. The bully exists in the school environment because they are allowed to manipulate the school system. They pursue the weaker child and take advantage of the environment. Bullies don’t act alone for the most part. They find others who believe that harassing, physically and sexually assaulting is the theme of the day.

The lack of control by the bully will eventually be his/her demise. The bully will continue to attack his child victim who acquiesces and puts up with the continual assaults. Then the bully selects a child who fights back physically and verbally and then reports the bully to the authorities. The authorities generally know of the bullies conduct, but have difficult in dealing with the bully because nobody will come forward and testify against the bully.

So what will deter the bully from blossoming in any environment? The first step to eliminate bullies is to have a zero-tolerance in the school that the bully attends. The administration and teachers need to enforce any behavior which is aggressive or simply out of line. Violations of school policies and procedures can’t be tolerated. Generally, there are security personnel and/or law enforcement officials who need to keep the heartbeat of the bully under control. There must be consequences for their conduct.

The second step is to have a law enforcement game plan which will not only make a difference, but will set rules which all students must abide by. Arresting the bully in front of the student body will bring about compliance without having to directly deal with the bullies in the crowd. No one wants to lose their freedom and if law enforcement officials do their job, then the existence of the bully will be curtailed.

The third step is the attempt to have bullies receives the necessary counseling which should make them understand how the child victim feels when they are bullied. Most bullies have been abused, live in a violent home environment and/or have authority figures in their life that have a criminal history and many dealings with law enforcement. The attributes of violence and crime make-up the bully. The bully has nowhere to turn for assistance and asking others for assistance is a sign of weakness. If the authority figures in the bullies life find out they have been seeing a counselor, they will be rewarded by being verbally and physically abused. The adults want the bully to be tough therefore they need to set standards which match those of the adults. Any weakness demonstrated is met with punishment and the bully who already has trouble with authority simply moves aggressively forward. Better the child victim be sexually, physically and verbally abuse than he/she.

The fourth step is teaching other children what they can do to prevent bullies from flourishing in their environment. Too many bullies get away with their aggressive behavior because other children allow the conduct to permeate. The school needs to provide education on what preventive steps the students can take to stop and report bullying behavior.

The fifth step is educating the parents that communicating with their child about what is happening at school is a key to stopping sexual body bullying. This communication needs to be conducted on a daily basis. Along with ascertaining how they are doing academically, they need to hear from their children what is happening in school. If the parent doesn’t protect the child then who will?

The sexual body bullying will take the energy and self-esteem out of a child. It is important that the environment a child lives in is safe, supportive and one that bullies aren’t a part of or where they can flourish. If you are a parent ask yourself, “Do I know if my child is a victim of sexual body bullying?” If you don’t know the answer to your question, then when your child comes home from school today, take the time to ask your child about their safety.

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