What Is It About Those Who Have Sexual Addiction That Should Concern You About Your Child’s Safety? Part VII

Lawrence W. Daly, MSc

Gene Tierney
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I admire anyone who rids himself of an addiction.Gene Tierney

If you could dream and schedule in your mind specifically when you wanted your dream and what would it be about would you do it? Some people believe the thrill of dreaming is being able to go to sleep and be surprised at what is created. In the fantasy world the viewpoint is one which an individual creates, they know what they are fantasizing about and how it ends.

No surprises in fantasies in how the fantasy will end, only because the fixation on the person, place or thing is there for the picking. Sexual addicts and sexual offenders are different in that their thoughts are consistently about sex. According to the Kinsey Institute (2011), “54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month.”   

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In another study conducted by Ohio State University (2012) in the January issue of Journal of Sex Research, “Revealed that the median value for the number of times men thought about sex was 19 times a day (as compared to 10 times a day for women).”

Fantasies and daydreams basically can be whatever comes to your mind. Some people think about being in Hawaii on a boat going nowhere, just enjoying the sun and the fun which comes with it. It has been established through research that the brain is like one’s genitals a sexual organ. According to Kaplan, 1974, “sex is composed of fiction and fantasy.”

As discussed over the past couple articles sexual fantasies are considered important because they are thought to play a significant role in the commission of sexual offenses such as exhibitionism, rape, and child sexual abuse (Abel & Blanchard, 1974).

There are many reasons for the sexual arousal of sexual addicts and offenders. It is possible to become aroused by something they read, smell, hear and most importantly see and feel. Sexual fantasies are triggered by internal physical issues or there could be some combination of the many above listed criteria’s.
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Most individuals believe that pornography on the Internet creates sexual arousal. However, one must consider that some of the sexual addicts and offenders get sexually aroused for whatever reason and then seek pornography and other sexual images and themes.

In the sexual addict’s world sexual fantasies varies from individual to individual. The Internet has created avenues where a sexual addict will expend hours on the computer viewing and searching for sexual type chat rooms and pornography. Here are some of the signs and symptoms of Internet addiction that can cause for a sexual addict:

Signs and symptoms of Internet addiction or computer addiction
Signs and symptoms of Internet addiction vary from person to person. For example, there are no set hours per day or number of messages sent that indicate Internet addiction. But here are some general warning signs that your Internet use may have become a problem:
§  Losing track of time online. Do you frequently find yourself on the Internet longer than you intended? Does a few minutes turn in to a few hours? Do you get irritated or cranky if your online time is interrupted?
§  Having trouble completing tasks at work or home. Do you find laundry piling up and little food in the house for dinner because you’ve been busy online? Perhaps you find yourself working late more often because you can’t complete your work on time — then staying even longer when everyone else has gone home so you can use the Internet freely.
§  Isolation from family and friends. Is your social life suffering because of all the time you spend online? Are you neglecting your family and friends? Do you feel like no one in your “real” life — even your spouse — understands you like your online friends?
§  Feeling guilty or defensive about your Internet use. Are you sick of your spouse nagging you to get off the computer and spend time together? Do you hide your Internet use or lie to your boss and family about the amount of time you spend on the computer and what you do while you're online?
§  Feeling a sense of euphoria while involved in Internet activities. Do you use the Internet as an outlet when stressed, sad, or for sexual gratification or excitement? Have you tried to limit your Internet time but failed (HelpGuide.org, 2012)?

Being a sexual addict as seen above with fantasies and compulsion in expending excessive amounts of time fantasizing about sex and searching and viewing sexual themes on the Internet is unhealthy. This unhealthiness leads to other ailments such as medical and psychological problems and issues.

The many studies which have been conducted over the past three decades have lead experts in the field of sexual addiction and offenders in identifying how to deal with the sexual nature of the sexual desires, aspects and characteristics of a sexual addict and sexual offender. Further, these experts continue to isolate and pursue issues which have yet to be addressed making the diligence of these experts admirable.

The research and studies which has grown in the past couple decades has created new and exciting platforms where the learning curve has risen and the experts are learning about what makes a person masturbates eight times a day or sexually assaults a child.

All of the research and studies eventually will make a difference in this community of sexual addiction and offenders. There is so much to learn and in this difficult time of a depressed economy, it may take some time until the experts can find the funding to continue the research and studies which are so desperately necessary and needed.

Tomorrow, sexual fantasies and what control they have on a sexual addict and offender is the key to understanding their needs, desires, personalities, characteristics and traits. Fantasies make a difference in how the sexual addict and offender behave. In reviewing and researching their behavior, maybe, just maybe, we will come to conclusions that other professionals have not contemplated.

Lawrence W. Daly
253-852-6702 B/P
253-852-6704 Fax
Kent, WA

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