What Is It About Those Who Have Sexual Addiction Which Make It Difficult For Those Who Love The Sexual Addict? Part V

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 Lawrence W. Daly, MSc

“Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected.”
                                                                                                                                               Steve Jobs

As discussed in yesterday’s article one of the themes which has not been dealt with in sexual addiction to date, which is only two+ decades in the research aspects of things is the “management” of sexual desires, motivation, patterns and other emotions considered when it comes to their daily needs for sexual fulfillments and activities.

In looking at what “management” means to those who may be hypersexual let us examine and evaluate what the term hypersexual means. Researchers Drew A. Kingston and Phillip Firestone (2008) define hypersexual as:

Problematic hypersexuality (PH) is a clinical syndrome characterized by a loss of control over sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors, which are accompanied by adverse consequences and/or personal distress (Gold & Heffner, 1998; Kafka, 2001). Historically, such behavior 
Richard von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902)
Richard von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
received substantial clinical attention (Krafft-Ebing, 1812/1988; Rush, 1812/1988), although focus has predominantly shifted to disorders of inhibited, rather than disinhibited, sexual response given the relatively high prevalence rates of sexual dysfunctions in both men and women (see Simons & Carey, 2001).

So how does an individual who suffers from being hypersexual “manage” the loss of control over his sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors? Great question and one which there is minimal to no answers to; well at this point and time.

The answer is how an individual “manages” his sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors which will determine where he goes from thought patterns to physically acting out. The word paraphilia is considered, “a mental disorder characterized by a preference for or sadomasochism, or exhibitionism or rape” and if an individual doesn’t manage his paraphilia the sexual act can turn from consensual to a criminal act of passion

Today, the athletic director and football coach were terminated at the University of Montana. Athletic director Jim O’Day and head football coach Robin Pflugrad were released from their jobs with the colleges due to what President Royce Engstrom said was a “leadership change.”  Really!!!

If President Engstrom was half-way competent and intelligent you would need to ask yourself how O’Day as the athletic director and Robin Pflugrad as the head coach would have had any knowledge that the football player, quarterback Jordan Johnson would have ‘allegedly’ sexually assaulted another student.

Although after six months of an investigation performed by the police no charges have been filed. Both men O’Day and Pflugrad were shocked by the news and this author as well learning about their termination. The reasonable and logical explanation for Johnson’s actions off the football has anything to do with O’Day’s and Pflugrad’s overall performance has yet to be determined.

If President Engstrom could point to anything that O’Day or Pflugrad did to provoke or advocate that Johnson should allegedly go out and rape another student, then the firings would be justified and potentially criminal. What is it that President Engstrom used to make his ultimate conclusion and decision that they had to go? You have to ask after six months of a criminal investigation, no criminal charges filed, why today to terminate these two professionals?

If President Engstrom was standing in front of this author I would ask him point blank to explain how O’Day and Pflugrad titles and responsibilities is to be a police agent 24/7 with any athlete, especially Johnson’s?

This author has no affiliation with any of the parties involved in this matter nor do I know or have met anyone who has attended the University of Montana. However, if I was a board member, alumni and/or student of the University of Montana I would be knocking on President Engstrom’s door asking for the truth to be told.

Everyone in this situation deserves the truth to come out. One of the questions would be has O’Day or Pflugrad every taken a substantial step to push athletes from any sport to pursue others to sexually assault them?

Further, what does leadership of an athletic director or head football coach have anything to do with an individual i.e. Johnson who most likely doesn’t understand how to “manage” his sexual boundaries, the word no, and other consensual sexual relevant issues?

No one should argue that an athletic director and coach must have some credibility with the athletes, but to combine or connect a director or coach with an athlete who may not have respect for another person when it comes to consensual sex; it leaves one questioning what was the agenda in the firings by President Engstrom?

University of Montana
University of Montana (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This author has no idea what type of individuals O’Day or Pflugrad are; what type of administrators or coaches these men are; or how they in the past enforced violations of school policies or rules; or what their reputations are amongst the players, staff and administrators is; and what information came about when the criminal investigation was performed, but somehow President Engstrom believed they did something to promote the rape.

There is a necessity with these types of cases for the truth to be revealed from the beginning, therefore, when decisions are made by such individuals as President Engstrom no one walks away from the situation scratching their heads.

The “management” of Jordan Johnson is something which will haunt the University of Montana for some time to come. Apparently in this situation there will and are no winners. Something is gained i.e. others should beware that President Engstrom will not tolerate those who allegedly break ‘his’ rules.

Tomorrow, the term “management” when it comes to dealing with hypersexual individuals is something each individual will need to make a determination in just how it has played a significant role in them becoming a sexual addict.

As I stated above at this point there aren’t many answers for those who struggle with sexual addiction. Maybe articles like this one will assist those who have lost their way to find their way back.

Remember April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

Lawrence W. Daly
253-852-6702 B/P
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Kent, WA

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