What Is It About Those Who Have Sexual Addiction Which Make It Difficult For Those Who Love The Sexual Addict? Part X

 Lawrence W. Daly, MSc

“Beware of your habits. The better they are the more surely they will be your undoing.”
Holbrook Jackson
Modern day sexual addicts have easier access to pornography. Instead of driving to the closes pornographic book store, all they have to do is jump on the computer and away they go. It is because times have changed and the ability to access their every desire is available on the Internet. There has never been such instant gratification in what the Internet pornography brings to them.

With the increase of sexual addiction, new types of categories are being established to deal with the multiple types of sexual desires. In an article in Ask Men, “Sex Addict – From DSK to Duchovny: Are All Men Sex Addicts?” it states, “A tetrasexual is a person who has attraction to males, females, transsexuals, and animals.”
AskMen.com Logo
AskMen.com Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the past a tetrasexual would be known as someone who is simply sick in the mind. Society due to the desensitization of viewing pornography has become open to the numerous sexual desires, exploration and needs which are instantly available. Men and women use to be content with being a heterosexual or homosexual, but today the categories are growing and the wide spread of categories is whatever and whoever you want to be.

The problem with the expansion of new sexual categories is it will affect the new generation of young adults. Being exposed to twisted sexual opportunities makes it difficult for them to come to the decision that they should live a life of normalcy. Then the argument becomes what is normalcy?

After marriage the myth that sex decreases comes with the belief that there should be sex prior to marriage. How can there be a decrease in sex after marriage if you weren’t having sex prior to marriage. This conflict and viewpoint comes from the assumption that everyone is having sex prior to marriage.

According to author Rebecca Wind of Media Center (2006) nine out of ten individuals have sex prior to marriage. This includes those who abstained from sex during their teenage years. Further, Wind cites author Lawrence Finer, director of domestic research at the Guttmacher Institute. Finer states:

The data clearly shows that the majority of older teens and adults have already had sex before marriage, which calls into question the federal government’s funding of abstinence-only-until-marriage programs for 12–29-year-olds. It would be more effective to provide young people with the skills and information they need to be safe once they become sexually active—which nearly everyone eventually will.

Pic of the DSM-IV English: My wife reading in ...
Pic of the DSM-IV English: My wife reading in bed. And it wasn't because she was trying to get to sleep. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Some individuals argue that there is no such thing as sexual addiction. These individuals argue that they don’t believe in the twelve step programs which sexual addiction relies upon for accountability of not sexually acting out. Further, they argue that sexual addiction is not an official diagnosis in the DSM IV, therefore it must not exist.

Both of these arguments are naïve because sexual disorders are in the DSM IV and there is a list of sexual dysfunctions within the sexual disorders such as fetishism, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. These can all be found under sexual addiction in the academia research and writings.

There has been a major push for those who work in the field of sexual disorders or hypersexual behavior to have sexual addiction be added to the DSM IV. The specific reason sexual addiction is not listed is insurance companies would lose money. If 70% of individuals have looked at pornography over the past year, then their behavior could be viewed as having a sexual addiction.

Too often those who become entangled in the world of sexual addiction do not care what the terminology is or isn’t. All they care about is receiving the proper assistance to find their way back to a healthy life. 

Many individuals who recently became addicted to Internet pornography find themselves feeling obsessed that they need to be a part of this costly addiction as they find sexual pleasure in it.

The problem is there currently is no cure for sexual addiction once an individual becomes involved in it. Of course there are methods to curtail one’s activities; however it is difficult to change someone’s behavior and actions once they form a bad habit.

The mental health community is attempting to devise ways to change habits which conform back to a healthy lifestyle. The problem associated with this mentality is that most individuals have been invested into Internet pornography for so long that it will take years (under the current treatment modalities) to change the habits of a sexual addict.

There is much written on the subject of sexual addiction, but little is discussed about changing the habits of a sexual addict. The reasons deal with the lack of research in the field of sexual disorders. Mental health professionals understand that most research has been performed over the past thirty years. This research is in its infancy stage and those who are sexually addicted need to find options for recovery which have never been tried before.

Tomorrow, sexual addiction, habits, hypersexuality, sexual disorders and so many other characteristics which have a bearing on a sexual addict’s behavior will continue to be addressed. It is important that individuals who find themselves addicted to Internet pornography need to search out counselors, life coaches and consultants who have the expertise in sexual disorders which can assist them in dealing with their sexual addiction.

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