What Is It About Those Who Have Sexual Addiction Which Make It Difficult For Those Who Love The Sexual Addict? Part XVI

 Lawrence W. Daly, MSc

Map showing legality of cartoon child pornogra...
Map showing legality of cartoon child pornography. Red = Illegal, Orange = Unclear or under change, Grey = no data (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Is society so bored that it must turn to the Internet and surf for websites which are pornographic? Isn’t there something men and women can do to find other outlets which are as pleasurable? The alternatives are vast and if these sexual addicts would take the time and steps to find something more than looking at sexual images or individuals having sex, just maybe their lives would be different.

The reality is pornography is addictive and if an individual expends enough time surfing the Internet than pornography takes a hold of the sexual addicts life. There are many discussions about what happens to an individual who constantly expends an excessive amount of time surfing the Internet for sexual pleasures.

Scientists agree that the brain functions on repetition and once the brain finds itself repeating a behavior it becomes a habit. The wiring of the brain is complex and scientists agree that certain parts of the brain cause things to become a habit.

An individual who seeks pornography finds himself pursuing the same pathway to finding sexual pleasures. Day after day the individual repeats the pattern of being on the Internet and seeking new and exciting sexual images, websites, videos, pictures, enhancing their sexual fantasies.

There is an affect to what these individuals are doing. When the individual believes that things needs to change it isn’t easy as the pattern of repeating a specific behavior is something the mind and body believes it needs.

The promises a sexual addict makes to himself and others are conflicting in nature. He can’t promise that he will make a change in his upsetting life style if he takes no initiative to demonstrate that he is serious about changing his out of control sexual behavior.

The inner mind, soul and body feelings he has makes him a threat to himself and others. At the beginning of the sexual addiction viewing sexual images, movies, videos, and so forth will take care of those sexual urges, desires and fantasies. Unfortunately, this will appease his sexual needs and desires for only so long. Studies have demonstrated that men who began watching child pornography learned how to sexually assault them. Next step, sexually assaulting children.

The behavior of the sexual addict is for the most part predictable. If the current sexual acting out isn’t enough, then the sexual addict will take it to another level. These levels begin with pursuing prostitutes, bikini barista’s, massage parlors and so forth.

The statistics are staggering when it comes to the sexual outlets that a sexual addict will pursue. The pornography industry is a powerful industry in the making of billions of dollars. They know that sex sells and as long as there are takers, they will expend the money to create new products.

In author William M. Struthers book, “Wired for Intimacy” he provides a list of warning signs which detail how to analyze if an individual is addicted to pornography. Those warning signs are as follows:

1. Excessive personal (non-work related) use of more than 20 hours a week
2. Neglect or avoidance of previously rewarding personal relationships or interaction with peers
3. Depression (either short- or long-term)
4. Pursuit of "highs" that have been experienced while online
5. A false perception of intimacy or pseudo-intimacy
6. Internet becomes the source of resolving sexual difficulties, releasing sexual frustration or unfocused sexual energy
7. A history of sexual problems

What seems to be important in determining whether or not a behavior is considered to be ·compulsive or addictive is that it meets three criteria:

1. There is an inability to choose whether or not to do the behavior (compulsivity).
2. The behavior continues in spite of negative consequences that the individual is plainly aware of.
3. Thoughts centering on the behavior (i.e., when is the next time it can be done, how to acquire the necessary items to do it, etc.) take up a significant amount of the person's cognitive life (obsession).

Struthers’ list is short but he is on target in describing individuals who become addicted to Internet pornography. Each sexual addict is different. Their behavior can be inconsistent to consistent, finding there is an increase in their usage of the Internet for other purposes than work.

The Internet provides many opportunities for people to seek their individual sexual pleasures. Some people seek Facebook and Twitter where others seek pornographic websites. The problem is there are too many options and if an individual isn’t careful they may fall victim to the sexual world of the Internet.

Tomorrow, those who seek pornography on the Internet on a daily basis need assistance from their spouses, family, friends, pastors, counselors, life coaches, and consultants. If you are having difficulty with Internet pornography the first step you must take is admitting you have a problem and then seeking assistance to stop this cyclical illness.

Go To Amazon-Kindle and purchase my new release
“Sexual Addiction: Code of Conduct”.
It is a book which 50 million people have been searching for!!!


Lawrence W. Daly
253-852-6702 B/P
253-852-6704 Fax
Kent, WA

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