6.08.2012

Understanding Sexual and Technological Addictions. Are You Or Your Children Already Addicted? Part XVII



Lawrence W. Daly, MSc
color photo of Morrison Hall where the Kinsey ...color photo of Morrison Hall where the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction is housed (Photo credit: Wikipedia) 
“If you’re happy, if you’re feeling good, then nothing else matter.”

It is shocking to walk into your son’s bedroom to find him viewing pornography on his smartphone and masturbating. Once you recovered from the shock what steps would you have to take to determine how serious of a problem does your son have, you would begin asking many questions? Is this normal behavior for a young man to be watching pornography and masturbating? These are some of the issues which need to be address and dealt with as a child and as an adult. Compulsive masturbation is a major problem with men and women who suffer from mental and psychological disorders. It isn’t just one thing in their lives which make them masturbate repeatedly during the day, afternoon, and evening, but a multitude of reasons.

Some people do not know what masturbation is. Masturbation according to some resources is the touching of one’s body including their sex organs, for sexual purposes.
Planned Parenthood states that masturbation is a common and safe kind of sex play. This is simply not true. If masturbation was so safe then why do men and women have to seek medical services due to the injuries to their genitilia from excessive and compulsive masturbation?

The theory that masturbation is normal because it feels good is true. However, once experienced, continuing the process makes the act of masturbation idolatry. If you are not a Christian then you will have to deal with how you resolve right and wrong. Sexual experimentation is normal, but should be saved for marriage. The problem with the sexual revolution over the past couple decades i.e. friends with benefits, there is a lax of secular and Christian viewpoints on what sexual acts are acceptable.

Research has documented that the average age of when males and females have sex is as follows (Taken from the Kinsey Institute (2007) :

Females
25% by age 15
26% by age 15
37% by age 16
40% by age 16
46% by age 17
49% by age 17
62% by age 18
70% by age 18
69% by age 19 
77% by age 19
85% by age 20-21
81% by age 20-21
89% by age 22-24
92% by age 22-24

Average age of first intercourse, by gender
Males
Females
16.9
17.4
Average age of first intercourse, by ethnicity
White
Black
Hispanic
Asian American
Other
16.6
15.8
17.0
18.1
17.4

Masturbation

Masturbation activity alone by men and women in the past month, past year, and over their lifetime:

AGE
18-19
20-24
25-29
30-39
40-49
50-59
60-69
70+
Men
Past Month
61.1%
62.8%
68.6%
66.4%
60.1%
55.7%
42.3%
27.9%
Past Year
80.6%
82.7%
83.6%
80.1%
76%
72.1%
61.2%
46.4%
Lifetime
86.1
91.8%
94.3%
93.4%
92%
89.2%
90.2%
80.4%
Women
Past Month
26%
43.7%
51.7%
38.6%
38.5%
28.3%
21.5%
11.5%
Past Year
60%
64.3%
71.5%
62.9%
64.9%
54.1%
46.5%
32.8%
Lifetime
66%
76.8%
84.6%
80.3%
78%
77.2%
72%
58.3%
  • More than half of women ages 18 to 49 reported masturbating during the previous 90 days. Rates were highest among those 25-29 and progressively lesser in older age groups. NSSHB, 2010
  • Approximately one-third of women in all relationships in the 60- to 69-year cohort reported recent masturbation. NSSHB, 2010
  • Among women in the National Sex Survey older than 70, solo masturbation was reported by more than half who were in a non-cohabitating relationship, compared to 12.2% among married women. NSSHB, 2010
Masturbation activity with a partner by men and women in the past month, past year, and over their lifetime:
AGE
18-19
20-24
25-29
30-39
40-49
50-59
60-69
70+
Men
Past Month
14.5%
15%
20.5%
22.9%
19.2%
14.4%
10.3%
4.1%
Past Year
42%
43.5%
49.3%
44.7%
38.1%
27.9%
17%
12.9%
Lifetime
49.3%
54.5%
69%
68.3%
61.5%
51.9%
37%
31.6%
Women
Past Month
18.4%
16.1%
24.1%
19.3%
12.7%
6.7%
5.9%
2.1%
Past Year
36%
35.9%
48.2%
43.3%
34.8%
17.7%
13.1%
5.3%
Lifetime
38.8%
46.9%
64%
63.1%
56.1%
46.9%
36.4%
17.5%
  • Partnered masturbation among women was reported highest among women ages 25-29. NSSHB, 2010
  • Across all age groups, partnered women are significantly more likely to report having engaged in partnered masturbation as compared to non-partnered women. NSSHB, 2010
  • Partnered masturbation was most common among women in the 25-29 and 30-39 year-old groups who were single and dating. NSSHB, 2010
This information tells us that there are numerous individuals engaging in sexual intercourse and masturbation across the board. The sexual activity and the amount of it appear to be age related. These findings demonstrate that there is not one standard or morality reason(s), which are consistent enough to have a significant impact on society.

The need and compulsion to masturbate or have sexual intercourse prior to, during, and after marriage needs to be evaluated and studied further. Today, there is so much exposure to “pleasure zones” due to the tech-click availability into the Internet and finding a pornographic website which will bring about a major change in the above numbers.

There will be an increase in children experiences with sex at the ages of 0-10. The quick fix of the Internet establishes a new way to find a sexual stimulus, where before magazines and books were the answers. Magazines and books are obsolete, some are still utilized for masturbation, but the majority of masturbator’s use their computers or smartphones to access their “pleasure zones.”

No matter what your view point is on whether you should masturbate or have sexual intercourse prior to marriage, no one can argue that the potential for health risk when you step outside the norm may be something to consider. There is no doubt that people masturbate throughout their lives. However, it is those who move from the one time a week to seven to ten times a day that are the area of concern for this author.

It feels good to masturbate, but there must be a moral and religious consideration to everything a person does. The attitude ‘just because it feels good do it’ has shown to be a saying which many people have come to realize isn’t the mentality to have. The focus should not just be on masturbation but the frequency, sexual fantasies associated with it, and so forth. If a child is masturbating to killing the neighbor girl and this is what sexually excites him, then as I began this article there are many individuals with mental and psychological problems.

Some would argue the individuals who have compulsive and distorted sexual fantasies are the minor, not the majority. If you consider that 85% of the men in society viewed some type of pornography in the past year and a majority of them masturbated to these sexual images imagining what they would do sexually to the women in the pornographic image, then the viewpoint of how men should make love to a woman becomes distorted. This distortion imprints into the minds of children and carries with them into their adulthood. Some of the sexual fantasies are degrading and violent when the individual acts out. Is this the individual you want your daughter to be dating?

Tomorrow, many people do not understand just how sexualized children have become. The percentage of those children who have found masturbation at an early age and sexual intercourse may be sexually dysfunctional at an earlier age. Further, there may be a looser reign of the types of sexual acts, the many partners, and the push for sexual exploration may shock and concern society. It comes down to educating your children about what to do with their sexual feelings. If you educate your children about the pleasures of sex, when it is appropriate, what to do with those feelings, then just maybe they will be prevented from becoming sexual addicts.



To learn my own simple framework for creating a more enjoyable life, see my books Battles of The Flesh 2ed, It Could Happen To You and Code of Conduct on Amazon/Kindle.   
If you'd like to talk to me about personally coaching you into a happier, more successful and fulfilling life, go to www.steppingstones.ws and drop me an email or call me. You'll also find information on my coaching work at www.steppingstones.ws.
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