Understanding Sexual and Technological Addictions. Are You Or Your Children Already Addicted? Part XIX

By Lawrence W. Daly, MSc

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.” 
Anne Frank

The need for future monitoring of the manner in which children purchase techno gadgets and have access to the Internet deserves a closer and intimate look. Currently the first amendment and commerce issues have kept the government from being involved with how society deals with the purchasing of techno gadgets and who has the right to enter the Internet.

There is a difference though between parental responsibilities versus the government responsibilities. Parents have the responsibility to purchase techno gadget which have

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - MARCH 02:  Apple CEO Steve...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - MARCH 02: Apple CEO Steve Jobs speaks about the new case protector during an Apple Special event to unveil the new iPad 2 at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts on March 2, 2011 in San Francisco, California. Apple unveiled the iPad 2 as the successor to its popular tablet, the iPad. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)
limitations. The iPad is a popular tablet which allows children the opportunity to be exposed to the applications and which are age appropriate.

These applications can become tiresome and the child may want to step outside the boundaries that the parent has established and explored the Internet. The most intelligent step parents should take is to disable the child’s ability from accessing the Internet. If the parent believes this to be too preventive, then the parent should place safeguard software on the techno gadget so if the child goes exploring they can’t access pornographic websites.

Children at the age of four years old and younger are being exposed to the new and innovative techno gadgets. Parents purchase or find software which is free and download it onto the techno gadget. The parent is capable of monitoring what software is placed on the techno gadget. The rules and boundaries must surround the understanding with the child that the child is not to download any software without the parents’ permission.

The problem with monitoring anything is that some parents have a lackadaisical attitude about follow up and checking what their child is up to. This should be a daily routine established and engrained in the mind of the parent that if they don’t check on the child nobody will.

Sexual addiction generally is formed at an early age due to traumatic events. Ranging from children being exposed to sexual stimulants such as pornography, being sexually assaulted by a sibling, peer, or adult, and/or inadvertent exposures to individuals having sex. Whatever the reason may for the trauma is, in 70% of those who are sexually addicted there was childhood trauma which indirectly/directly led to the sexual addiction.

There is no way for a parent to be with their child 24/7 or to interview or interrogate them about what they may have been doing behind closed doors. Parenting is one that has to be based on common sense, setting guidelines, boundaries, and follow-up by the parent.

Too often the aspect of the child’s life which needs to be addressed is not. The specific reason is the parent doesn’t perceive the potential dangers. If you were to ask most parents who have given their child a techno gadget, that there is a need for rules, guidelines, and a daily follow-up in reference the child’s usage, you may receive a strange look and a statement from the parent of ‘how harmful can an iPad tablet be to a five year old child?’

The answer is obvious to those who understand the dangers which lurk in accessing the Internet. The next question you would ask the parent would be ‘what safeguards have you placed on the Internet so the child doesn’t access websites which may be sexually inappropriate?’ Most parents may respond that the safeguard software isn’t necessary for a five year old because they can’t figure how to find these inappropriate sexual websites.
Image representing iPad as depicted in CrunchBase
Image via CrunchBase

It only takes the click of the mouse for the child to move from one website to the next. The pornography industry exists because of the enticements they advertise and post on websites. Once in the tangled web, the child will not have the experience to find their way out. To the child it is like walking into a confusing maze where finding the exit just doesn’t seem possible.

A proactive parent would have the necessary software installed and follow-up to ascertain just what websites the child embarked upon. It is unrealistic to think that a five year old child doesn’t have the techno savvy to move about the Internet.

Practicing how the child may treat the iPad tablet or a smartphone is all about the parent teaching and educating the child in how to properly use it, what is good and bad, what they may do when using the techno gadget, the punishment for violating the rules, and so forth.
Discipline of children in dealing with techno gadgets and sex issues are no different than the child who leaves the yard without permission. Explaining to the child the dangers of the external world may be difficult for the child to grasp at the beginning of the journey. However, it is the parent’s responsibility to be accountable and responsible to monitor the activities of their child.
Ignorance is great when you want it to be, but as an adult you need to foresee what the future should look like for your child, marriage, and lifestyles. The decision to find ways to be techno proof will minimize the trauma of the future for the child. With the new technology and the many opportunities the Internet offer by the time a child of five years of age reaches 10 the world will be at their fingerprints.
If parents realize that with each techno gadget becomes available and the multitude of features that they bring with them, parents have a great opportunity to teach their children the necessary steps they need to take with each click.
Tomorrow, the combination of techno and sexual addiction has just begun for this child’s generation. The future has a vast of opportunities for everyone to enjoy the social networking websites, software which has features not even thought of today, and so many other features that will move us further into the next decade.
As I move towards the end of this series this week I believe the issues I have raised need to be considered if not applied. When people decide to have children then they need to plan their child’s future before exposing them to dangerous and vulnerable tools, software, hardware, and the Internet.
Understanding what techno gadgets, the Internet, and other futuristic technology bring to the table in millions of homes is the wisest issue parents can take to protect, educate, and discipline their children.

To learn my own simple framework for creating a more enjoyable life, see my books Battles of The Flesh 2ed, It Could Happen To You and Code of Conduct on Amazon/Kindle.   
If you'd like to talk to me about personally coaching you into a happier, more successful and fulfilling life, go to www.steppingstones.ws and drop me an email or call me. You'll also find information on my coaching work at www.steppingstones.ws.
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