6.22.2012

Understanding Sexual and Technological Addictions. Are You Or Your Children Already Addicted? Part XXIV




By Lawrence W. Daly, MSc

Thomas Chandler Haliburton
Thomas Chandler Haliburton (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
“Innocence is always suspicious.”

There are 25 million children who are being raised by one parent. The thought about what affect these children have to endure is a phenomenon which is under scrutiny 24/7. Generally, separation or divorce is the reasons for this dynamic problem. So what role does this have on a child’s development when it comes to addictions?

In this article exploring the one parent home and how this affects the emotional, mental, and physiological aspects of the child and how that connects to technological and sexual addiction will be addressed. Are there easy answers, is this something which the answers are clear cut, is there a solution to this situation, and so many other questions to consider.

The statistics are not positive about the major increase of the single parent homes. According to Encyclopedia.com (2003) this is there thought(s) on single-parent families:

There was a dramatic increase in single-parent families in the United States in the last three decades of the twentieth century; only 13 percent of families were headed by a single parent in 1970. Over one-fourth of children in the United States lived with a single parent in 1996, double the proportion in 1970. Approximately 84 percent of these families are headed by women. Of all single-parent families, the most common are those headed by divorced or separated mothers (58%) followed by never-married mothers (24%). Other family heads include widows (7%), divorced, and separated fathers (8.4%), never-married fathers (1.5%), and widowers (0.9%). There is racial variation in the proportion of families headed by a single parent: 22 percent for white, 57 percent for black, and 33 percent for Hispanic families.

The question than comes to mind what are the children’s status when all of these relationships are happening in and out of their homes? Some parents try to buy the child’s love due to feelings of guilt. Purchasing the newest and the best techno gadget is a common ‘guilt reliever’ for the parent who has abandoned his family. During visitation by the absent father/mother (if they make contact with their child) the child is exposed to an environment where they are allowed to go out to restaurants, movies, and gifts are purchased to relieve the anxiety between the child and parent.
An icon illustrating a parent and child
An icon illustrating a parent and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Take this ‘guilt reliever’ a step further and the absent father/mother purchases the child a new techno gadget. Upon returning home the gadget is sometimes allowed to stay with the child. This allows the child the opportunity to have access to the gadget at all times. The reason for allowing the child to keep the gadget is it shouldn’t be used as a divisional tool between parents. The child should not believe that they have to choose between living and visiting with either parent because of the gadget.

Moving forward the statistics is staggering when you analyze children who are exposed to parents, family, and friends who are involved in alcohol and drugs. The same may be true to parent’s who purchase a techno gadget after techno gadget because their social and family life has been exchanged for the techno gadgets, Internet access, and surfing pornography.

Children whom are exposed to dysfunctional parents for whatever reason may be directly and indirectly emotionally, mentally, and physiologically harmed. Children have to and need to find love, enjoyment, excitement, pleasure, and other needs somewhere and the techno gadgets, Internet, and “pleasure zones” can be a replacement.

To think that a child won’t turn to the resources they have seen their parents turn to is simply naïve and ignorant. Children learn from their environment, the attitude of their parents, and the tools their parents use to fill their time. If the parents watch television shows which have nudity, violence, and language issues, and the child is exposed to it than the child may grow to believe this is appropriate.

The need for research in this area is so important so the mental health and educational community can educate children and parents about what is appropriate and inappropriate.

The problem with all of the above information is children can become addicted to techno gadgets and sex. In 70 percent of the men and women who have a sexual addiction problem they had some type of childhood trauma, which may have caused them to become a sexual addict. Sometimes those who were traumatized became sexually addicted somewhere between 9-12 years of age. Emotional and mental distortion may occur because of the single-parent homes.
Child 1
Child 1 (Photo credit: Tony Trần)

Children need to fill their time in some manner. Once they become hooked in playing with the techno gadgets or sexual themes or both, the foundation has been established. Monitoring the behavior of the child in their use of the techno gadgets is significantly reduced. The single-parent has a multitude of responsibilities and the techno gadgets become a pseudo-babysitter and the negative consequences may begin to build. It is difficult to turn back the clock. Once the child is exposed two things may occur: One, the curiosity begins to build and the exploration is a daily occurrence, or two, the child accidently comes across a “pleasure zone” and they become hooked; wanting to find out what is available on the Internet. It may cause them to go searching, not realizing they are entering the “pleasure zones.”

The research which needs to be conducted in this area is decades delayed. The prediction by this author is once the single-parent families, technological and sexual addiction issues are studied and researched, these areas will be seen as shocking. This is significant enough that single-parent families will make drastic changes to protect their children from possibly being harmed emotionally, mentally, and physiologically.

Tomorrow, the need to research what is happening in the single-parent families in the United States needs to be studied, researched, and explored extensively. The funding by private and government agencies are needed in identifying the many problems new technology may be creating for children. Then add the single-parent family’s dynamics, which simply adds to the anxiety and stress of children and addiction, may find additional victims.
The distinctive red-and-white sign that appear...
The distinctive red-and-white sign that appears in windows of Block Parent homes. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Let us advocate for those parents who are responsible and accountable for monitoring, protecting, and educating their children. If individuals are made aware that a child is replacing their absent parent for technology and sex, immediately they should take the necessary steps to educate the mother/father what potential damage maybe happening to their child. Children deal with a difficult social life, educational settings, and other challenges, which cause anxiety and stress is unbelievable in today’s society. Therefore, replacement of an absent parent should not be techno gadgets and/or sex. 






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 Lawrence W. Daly                                             Follow me on Twitter @lawrencewdaly
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206-650-0229
ld@steppingstones.ws
Puyallup, WA


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